Mermish
by yahoo-chloe
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is a talented fifth year student at Hogwarts, but life isn't quite going his way. When he stumbles into a world unimaginably different from his own, what choices will he be forced to make about his future?
1. Prologue

**Mermish**

**Prologue**

'You know that it can't end like this.' I begged, knowing that even as I did, it wouldn't help. Her mind was set. Her decision was writ in the wrinkle of her eye, the zen positioning of her hands. My anger wrestled with the powerless feeling inside of me. There was too much that I wanted to say, but the words couldn't come. I fought with the translations my mind rapidly fed me, but nothing fit. All the arguments I had practised, all of the promises we'd made… All of it was disappearing. With her.

The woman's voice worked its way towards me, slowly with a tone both low and musical.

'You knew this day would come.' The words were completely askance from my anger. She was careful to distance herself from any emotion, I bitterly reminded myself. These words were free of guilt or pain. They simply told the truth, and asked for nothing in return.

'That's not true,' I threw back. 'If I had known this was coming, I _never_ would have begun this- whatever this is.' My breath was getting short, my vision clouding. 'I couldn't describe what has been happening between us if I wanted to, or the mess we've made.' A stray beam of light managed to separate us for a moment. My heart palpitated as she vanished from my sight. In less than a second the girl was back, but something had changed. She was a different creature, changed from the blank, guileless thing she had been seconds before. She _was _anger- it consumed her.

'You would have given up all of this? To save yourself this moment of hurt, you would rather it had never happened at all?'

Her words stopped me again, just for a moment. My thoughts were slowing somehow, and I could feel it. I had to move away, to push the hair from my face and earn some time, but it didn't fool her for a second.

'Would you?' She pressed further, moving closer as if to inspect the words I'd said 'You would rather that what we have, everything we've shared…' She trailed off, trying so hard to make me understand her. 'Had never begun?'

My lips opened, but my heart clamped shut. There were two paths ahead, I could see that now- both painful, but one without pride. Already, I knew I had to make my final stand. My breathing was weakening, but there was no way I could end this conversation here- How could I leave this experience open ended, in a way that would always make me wish I'd had my say. The word formed in the pit of my stomach, crawling up my throat, full of reproach; Even then, I think I knew I would never be able to take this back.

I could never take back the word that became one million regrets.

-x-


	2. Chapter 1, Past Beginnings

**Chapter One – Past Beginnings**

I pushed my nose further into the spine of the book as I hid my face from the gaggle of giggling girls. _Girls_was the term I rightly used, despite the fact that they were in their fifth year at Hogwarts, the same as myself. The squealing noises and contorted faces they were making made them all seem young enough to put the sorting hat back on. I glanced up quickly, trying and failing not to make steady eye contact with any as I gave them my most disapproving scowl. I failed, and they burst into another raucous round of helium squeals.

I wondered about moving to the other side of the library, or leaving it altogether, but they would probably follow me, just as they had followed me before. I had been forced to try and lose them by coming inside, by leaving the crisp, spring frost that was just starting to melt away from everything in the grounds of Hogwarts. It was nearly March, and still the lake was only just beginning to thaw; the trees were only just starting to lose the hardened look that winter had given their fingers. The tips of green everywhere brought hope, whispering rumours of the long summer ahead… Here, the only thing that whispered in the dimly library were the silly, preening set of fifteen year olds sat two tables away.

'_Go_, Margot!' Mock-whispered the skinniest, a Ravenclaw girl with an odd, under-fed look about her. I knew her from Transfiguration Class, where everything that happened had to be turned into some part of her garish pantomime. She couldn't set alight the cactus we were meant to be turning into a candelabrum without her regaling the tale endlessly in varied voices, often with extravagant hand gestures to match.

The girl she had whispered the encouragement to (presumably her name was Margot) turned a startling shade of puce as my attention was once again dragged away from '_Potions for Advanced Minds'_. Her oddly coloured cheeks were barely hidden by the mousy hair which grew away from her face in an exact equilateral triangle. Her eyes, chestnut brown and startling, were shaped by embarrassment when she realised that I had looked up. It was hard to tell which of us was more mortified as the Ravenclaw grabbed one of her shoulders, then half whispered-

'Margot, he's looking right _at _you!'

It was decided. I shut the book I was reading with a smart _snap_ (after withdrawing my nose from its depths) and placed it on top of the pile of books I had made for further study. I stood up, tidying away the card the librarian had signed to release the books, and hastily made for the door.

As I hurried past, the terrible conversation continued-

'Minna, please, just leave me alone! All of you! I wish I'd never said anything…'

The girl Margot, who barely raised her voice above a whisper, seemed close to real tears. It was thickened slightly anyway, by an accent I wasn't sure of when it was coloured by so much emotion. Italian, perhaps.

The Ravenclaw girl answered shrilly, 'We know you, Margot! You never _will_ say anything- in either of your life times!'

The two other girls, Gryffindors who I recognised from the common room as Elspeth Kettle and somebody Bones, both nodded diligently.

'That's because-'

'He's too good for you? It's not your place?' Elspeth replied, her voice only a hair's breadth away from a monotone. 'We've heard all of these before, Margot. You deserve to be happy, and you can't know the answer until you _ask_…'

In my haste to escape from this conversation, and the one that was possibly about to happen with Minna, I somehow managed to trip over my robe. My foot wound round the hem of my black school cape and I fell harshly onto my knees, dropping all my precariously stacked books across the floor.

'Oh Merlin's…' I began.

'Here, let me help…'

I hardly dared to push back my shoulder-length hair to see who had offered. Not that it really needed verifying. At this distance, it was impossible not to notice the careful emphasis placed on her pronunciation of the letter 'h'… So, a French student. Why had she not been sent to Beauxbatons? Amidst my thoughts, I turned to the worried girl, who had fallen to her knees and started picking up the volumes, and tried to give her a friendly smile-

'Thank you, Margot, but really-' I pulled my wand out of my pocket and gave it a quick flick, 'There's no need.'

The books flew back into their pile modestly, suitably chastised. A copy of '_Cauldron Classics' _flew from her fingers and placed itself nimbly atop the stack.

She opened her mouth to speak, but seemed stunned by something. Her blush had returned, deeper than ever, and she seemed unable to tear her gaze away from mine.

'Thank you.' I repeated firmly, backing out of the room again. I was beginning to wonder if she needed medical assistance. Did the hospital wing have a cure for extreme bashfulness?

'It was nothing at all, was it Margot?' Shouted Minna brightly, jumping out of her chair to grab the girl's upper arm. 'Was it?' She repeated carefully as she held the girl, clearly with gritted teeth.

Margot managed to shake her head.

I tried to give her a smile (as after all, it needed a far braver man than I to disagree with Minna), then turned on my buckled heel and left the library.

The laughs of the other three girls followed me all down the corridor before the library door swung shut, ringing endlessly in my ears…


	3. Chapter 2, Further Solitude

**Chapter Two – Further Solitude**

Still, if I was completely honest with myself, I knew that it wasn't really girls like Minna who made me feel like an outcast at Hogwarts. It was the boys, the boorish, ambitionless bunch I was forced to share most of my classes (and nearly all of my free time) with. If I wasn't paired with one in an important project, I was forced back into the common room by the overcrowded library and cold weather. I would never understand their obsession with converging in pointless huddles- did they really need to stay in packs? The only one I could put up with was Elphias, although the actual practice of doing homework with him could be a struggle. He was perfectly happy to study, but not to be original with the task we'd been set. He always seemed terrified of a scolding he was so certain would come. Still, I reasoned, at least Elphias wasn't as desperate to please and painfully cheery as he had been in his first couple of years with me at Hogwarts. It had been nigh on unbearable, until he learned to stop trying quite so hard with me. No matter, really, but still, I always felt a little wistful when we spent too long together. Elphias was a perfectly respectable chap, almost a challenge at wizard chess sometimes. It was just that, sometimes, he lacked a certain sense of … adventure.

One typical school-day's ending made me further contemplate this fact. I had spent the evening mixing two spells, through a combination of pyromania and pure teenage boredom. The new incantation made it so that the logs on the fire replaced themselves when burnt down to a crisp. Perfectly perfunctorily, like clockwork, I had managed to time the change… The only problem was, that if you spoke it and then lost concentration- looked away, gave in to the scratch that was forming on the end of your abnormally long nose- the logs sometimes got up and tried to make a dash across the rug to roll themselves out. I was sure I could make it work, without someone having to stand nearby with a wand or a jug of pumpkin juice (which was what Elphias had thrown at the first log when I had gone to my room to fetch something). I had sat there, mixing the words with new pronunciations or other spells for hours. At the start, Elphias tried to help. Others in the common room watched interestedly, before they became bored, made some barely coherent jokes, and then lumbered to bed. Most of them knew better than to say anything at all to me when I was in this mood. Every now and again, another log would jump up and some would chase it around, putting out the embers it dropped or screaming excitedly. Eventually, the seats in the room emptied, silence grew from the space left and settled over the sleepy students. People trudged off to their beds.

'Come on, then, Albus. We've got double Ancient Runes first tomorrow. Better give it up as a bad job, eh?' Elphias somehow managed to sound cheery and blend a yawn into the speech at the same time.

I gave him a cursory glance and then returned my eyes to the embers. I felt like the blue there would be burnt black; my eyeballs ached like I'd used them in a gob-stones championship and then put them back in my skull. I waved the arm that didn't contain my wand at him.

'See you tomorrow then, Doge.' I replied, before muttering another spell to see if it yielded any results. The log flipped upside-down and spat sparks at a nearby tapestry.

'Albus!' Shouted Doge, as he hurried to squash the specks of red. 'You'll never get this finished tonight, it's far too late.' He tried to sound stern. It didn't suit him at all.

'Goodnight, Elphias.' I replied, trying to stay good-natured.

He opened his mouth to argue, but a movement at the top of the stairs to the third year dormitory stayed it.

'Yes, yes, run along Elphias. You've been dismissed by the great Albus Dumbledore,' There was no attempt to hide the scathing contempt that filled their voice. 'You should probably curtsey on your way out.'

It seemed to me that Elphias had looked half convinced, until curtseying was mentioned. He pulled himself up to his full (but still not very great) height, before speaking.

'Oh, go b-boil in your own cauldron, Aberforth!' He stuttered. Then, he was striding up another set of stairs. I heard his steps retreat, like a sulky child's, before a door slammed shut.

The silence stretched out. I stopped speaking to spells aloud, but continued twitch and flick my wand in time with the charms in my head. My brother stayed lurking in the darkness atop the staircase. I wondered what he wanted.

'That wasn't very polite, Aberforth' I murmured, keeping my eyes carefully focused on the fire. He only snorted derisively in reply.

'Doge has never done anything harmful to you.'

'I don't know why you put up with him.' Aberforth spat, suddenly angry. 'Isn't your genius too great for the likes of him? Hmm? Though, I guess there's no one here who can match _your_ intellect.'

I was careful not to allow my expression to change. The log dropped to the bottom of the grate, instantly turning to ash, which meant the little light the fireplace had been giving suddenly diminished. I was almost hidden from my brother. Only the watery moonlight gave away my position.

'Doge has never done anything to you.' I repeated carefully, my words sounding thicker in the dark. 'Why are you here, Aberforth?'

Silence enveloped us again, but I knew there would soon be an answer. Subtlety was never my brother's strong point.

'Have you had any news from mother?' Aberforth asked sulkily.

'You can always write to her yourself.'

'You know I don't like to wri- … I mean, you know she won't answer me.' He stumbled.

'You wouldn't have to even speak to me then, would you?'

'Please, Albus!' Aberforth stood up quickly and stared savagely down at me. My own eyes seemed to be blinking back at me from the top of the stairs. 'I just want to know what she's said about Adriana.'

I turned my gaze back to the fireplace. Of course- the only reason he would seek me out.

'She stopped eating for a little while after you left, and broke the tea set from Great-Aunt Idina in one of her… tantrums.' I continued to look straight ahead of me. 'In the last week or so she's been quite good, though Mother said she's been more creative in trying to get out the house. She's had to charm every window she can reach.'

Aberforth nodded, and the tenseness that had been radiating from him seemed to have disappeared. I could see a glint of white as he smiled a little-

'I never did like that teapot. Those Chimaeras were awful.'

I couldn't join in with the joke. I couldn't quite explain why I suddenly felt so cold and distant, though the warmth from the dead fire still filled the room. I got up and brushed the ash from the front of my robes, trying not to look anywhere near the third floor staircase.

'It's late. You should be asleep. You have Potions with Professor Frobisher early tomorrow.' I commented, a little more sharply than I intended. The white blinked out, and my blue irises turned icy in the darkness. I could imagine my brother's look of confusion before I could make it out in the meagre light.

'Why-?'

Aberforth had half shouted the word down the staircase, but it had none of the effect he wanted. I stood calmly, simply waiting for him to finish and disappear back to his dormitory.

He sighed, obviously deciding I wasn't worth whatever he was going to argue about. He retreated further into the hallway, but not so far that I couldn't hear what he whispered on the way back to his dorm-

'Why can't you be like a real brother?'


	4. Chapter 3, Some Oblivion

**Chapter Three – Some Oblivion**

Dawn light blurred into breakfast, and breakfast conversation twisted dreamily into the hushed silence of Ancient Runes. Professor Geyl's lecture on the importance of Egyptian symbology rolled into Professor Frobisher's lengthy discussion on the uses of Gillyweed in aquatic transformation. As the ended lesson, I swept the contents of my painfully dim-witted potions partner and mine's bench into my satchel. The Slytherin boy stared unflinchingly at me as I hurried out the crowded dungeon, to my long-awaited freedom.

The fresh air comforted my face as I wandered out the main doors. I was in no hurry to get anywhere; the my afternoon schedule was completely empty for a change. Usually this would mean a trip to the library, but I worried about meeting Minna and her strange, blushing friend again. I could go to the dormitory, but there was still a chance of seeing them or (worse) my sulking brother. It was better to be outdoors. There was bound to be a quiet place to study out here somewhere…

To the right, a path beckoned me closer to the Forbidden Forest. The track ran alongside the woods for some way, before curving off towards the Quidditch stadium and its training grounds. I had no interest in watching burly seventh years flex their muscles and fly into each other, or to sit in the bone-numbing cold of the forests' thick shadows. My breath was on the edge of frosting solid here, where the entrance was bathed in thin winter sunlight.

My second option was a path straight ahead, through two rows of frozen, bud-tipped bushes. It led across to a small courtyard, and then to the Herbology labs. I could hear faintly hear some first year's screams echoing to here, apparently excited or appalled by whatever Professor McKinnon was teaching them. I could also do without listening to that sound for the next two hours. . .

The final path was directed down to several fenced sections, with wooden benches lined up alongside. Here was where rowdy Care of Magical Creatures classes were usually held, but the space appeared to be empty. There was plenty of space, but it seemed oddly exposed. I didn't like the idea of students being able to spot me from the castle windows. Sighing, I turned back to the building and began mentally assessing which of Hogwarts' many hiding holes I could try and take advantage of-

Then, a shimmer caught my eye. I thought the light had simply reflected off my glasses, but another sparkle caused me to turn. I found what had caught my attention. A thick beam of sunlight was breaking through the February cloud and shining directly onto the lake. It winked enticingly at me, giving me an idea of the perfect solitary place to sit.

I turned fully around and took the path that led most directly to it. I passed the Care of Magical Creatures benches again, and carried on walking. The land sloped down, making my choice seem even more natural. The blank grey mass grew closer, and seemed to grow in width as I approached it.

I truly loved the lakeside, as I loved so many parts of Hogwarts. The water made a pleasant, reassuring sound as it hit the rocky beach. The openness to the elements always deterred other pupils. I liked to sit in my dormitory's alcove window in winter and watch over lake, frozen with a thick skin of white. The snow would sweep over the surface before it chose a spot to rest, leaving soft, curved patterns on the ice as if some omnipotent figure had stretched its hand out from the stormy skies and trailed its fingers through the white dust…

Now, the lake was the colour of steel with flecks of green, from the light. I dropped my satchel and sat on one of the large rocks on the shingle. The bag fell open, and the contents spilled out across the stones. With a sigh, I reached for my wand to return them to their place, but my eye fell on a bunch of knotted green leaves I didn't remember usually being part of my potions materials.

'_I'm passing around some Gillyweed for you all to add to the potion we're studying today, the Amphibio-alterus Concoction on page 113. I don't expect you to have any of this in your own potion supplies, as it is extremely hard to grow, and I would like any remains to be given to me at the end of the lesson. Now, if you will look at the first instruction…_'

Professor Frobisher's lecture faded away once more as I summoned the small green bunch. It flew into my hand, brushing its rubbery leaves against my outstretched fingers.

'_Gillyweed is most notably used for allowing humans to breathe underwater for a short period of time, generally about at hour…_'

I picked it up carefully, and stood up. A gush of wind flew across the lake to stir the hair on my shoulders. A whole afternoon of freedom stood in front of me- could I really miss an opportunity like this? I could really escape- there would be no confusing schoolgirls to divert me, no Doge to follow me, no Aberforth to meddle. I imagined floating under the water, examining the creatures that hid beneath the surface. The water hardly looked inviting, but I knew ample charms that would warm me once I was actually in the lake.

"_Actually in the lake_…" I was mad. Barking mad. Or, in fact, had I really just made a decision? And if I had already, really, decided… What point was there in arguing? I refused to question the final turn in my own argument, and instead flicked my wand so the rest of my possessions returned to my bag. I untied my shoes and my warm cloak, removed my socks, watch and glasses and stowed them all in my bag too. Rolling up my thin trousers, I approached the water lapping the beach's surface.

Pain stabbed through my long toes, then it started on my feet. An uncontrollable shiver rocked up through my body right to my arms, and my wand shot black sparks. I tried to focus on the surface of the lake but it was tinged with a slight blur, it was too close. I shut my eyes and breathed in, striding forward until the water reached my waist. My only thought as my muscles shook and screamed with protest was to wander whether anyone could see this madness… If anyone cared enough to stop me…

I stared down at the disgusting leaves in my palm. I had gone too far to give up now. Taking a deep breath, I dunked my shoulders beneath the freezing lake's steely surface. As I gasped in pain, I forced the plant into my mouth and half choked, half swallowed.

For a second, only the pain of cold was felt by my body. Then something else flashed through- the searing heat of a magical transformation. My limbs shook as I lost control. A split second later, my lungs shut down and I instinctively rocked into the foetal position, forcing my face to smash through the lake's surface and my mind to slow to almost a standstill. . .

Then, my chest relaxed. Somehow, the oxygen was getting through to my brain again. Foggily, I examined the notion. I was underwater. I was breathing. My mouth was shut, my nostrils were naturally trying not to take in water. My hands moved inquisitively to my throat, and I felt several odd ripples of skin on each side. I had _gills_. My hands, I saw a second later, were different too. I had always had long, thin fingers but now they were intricately connected with another flap of greenish membrane.

I tried to laugh, and a bubble of air made its escape across the few inches gap to the surface. I held my wand askance, and aimed…

'_Expulso._'

The word itself formed a bubble, and nothing happened. I frowned, realising I would not be able to cast spells aloud. I tried again, calling the word in my head as I had practised for next year's NEWT course-

'_Expulso!_'

This time, the spell was a success. The last bubble broke into a thousand tiny replicas of itself. The force from the spell pushed me further down into the lake's depths, but still I smiled. I was still in control. I realised the cold was fast reaching my bones, and cast a silent spell to raise my body temperature. The anticipation to swim, and to explore, was making me completely giddy. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt such pure, childish excitement. I could almost feel the adrenaline mixing itself into my bloodstream.

The time limit Professor Frobisher had mentioned echoed in my ears. An hour. An entire hour of doing something I was sure no wizard had done before- exploring the darkest depths of Hogwarts' lake with my newly webbed fingers. I relished the feeling of air passing through my gills, spread out my flipper-hands and kicked hard towards the most centre part of the lake.


	5. Chapter 4, Reality Calling

**Chapter Four – Reality Calling**

I noticed the odd looks that were being cast my way as I hurried past the Hufflepuff table. One or two people leant forward as I passed-

'_What _is that _smell?_'

I cast my eyes down and increased my speed. I bumped straight into a Ravenclaw third year, who had finished and was ambling towards the staircase. Her face wrinkled up in disgust as soon as I hit her. I apologised at speed, but she was already backing away from me as fast as she could manage-

'Albus! Over here!' Elphias grinned widely. It appeared he had been eating alone, though two empty plates sat in front of him. It would be an understatement to say that Elphias Doge 'enjoyed' Hogwarts' catered provisions...

'Hello.' I replied shortly, grabbing the plate that appeared in front of me as soon as I sat down. I reached for the ladle of a particularly meaty looking pork casserole and began ladling the contents of the entire tureen onto my plate.

'Got stuck in a book or something, did you? Dinner's nearly over.'

I was too busy attacking a large baked potato to comment, and realised, when I tried to check the time, that I had put my watch on upside-down anyway. I was ravenous. I had never done so much physical exercise at once before in my life. After straying much deeper than I realised, I had been forced to swim back with all my strength before my gills faded away. Looking around the Great Hall made me conscious of the total absurdity of my thoughts… All these people, chatting about social engagements, homework, normal everyday dilemmas that didn't involve aquatic transformative magic… What on _earth_ had I been doing?

'I'll say Albus, I haven't seen you since Potions. Where were you studying all afternoon?'

I swallowed a mouthful of meat and sighed. The warm food in my stomach made me feel a thousand times better, though I couldn't wait to get rid of my clothes. I had managed to sufficiently dry them, but as of yet I knew no spell to remove odour. I wondered briefly if I should share with Elphias what I really had been doing- he would love it, as he enjoyed all my eccentricities. Perhaps he would even be interested in joining me another time…

'An empty charms classroom, the library seemed busy.' I replied, in an as inane tone as I could muster.

Doge nodded, 'I checked the library. Seemed to be a lot of girls in there, but I didn't see you.'

I involuntarily glanced up the Gryffindor table and my eyes settled on Minna, who had come over to speak to her friends. She was gesturing wildly at Elspeth, laughing between every second word spoken, whilst a pale-looking Margot stirred her food around the bowl in front of her, without a word. She was staring deeply into it, like it held some sort of secret. I frowned and stabbed at the remaining pork on my plate.

'Hey Albus, did Geyl give us any homework?' Elphias queried.

Her eyes suddenly flicked up and she seemed surprised to see me looking at her. Margot held my gaze for only a moment. Her eyes were tense, and full of darkness. Suddenly, she sat up far too straight and jumped straight into her friends' conversation.

'Albus? Are you alright?'

Elphias, who had been looking calm, content and rather full, suddenly appeared worried. I looked up and attempted a smile. He still didn't seem convinced.

'Hey Albus, sorry to be the one to say, but there's a rather odd smell coming from over your way. Did something- ?'

'Peeves.' I stated shortly. That was enough of an explanation for Doge, for both my reticent mood and my odour, as he made a mild 'ah' sound.

The hall emptied around us, slowly but surely, and a few of the candles burned themselves out. Empty plates began to disappear again, back to the void in space where they seemed to have appeared from. I tried to keep up with Elphias' steady trickle of conversation, but it was a struggle.

'Frobisher said it won't come up in our OWL paper, but that's never stopped us before, hmm? I thought …'

I could barely lift my fork, my arms were so tired.

'And apparently, because Geyl's announcing his retirement soon, they want to do a celebration before exams. Some kind of dinner, or ball perhaps, though it's always murder finding a date for those …'

I thought dreamily of the bed upstairs that awaited me, with a row of soft pillows and my covers turned at the corner. My eyes drifted closed…

'Albus, are y-you alright? You're half dead, what _have_ you been studying all afternoon to make you like this? Albus? _Albus_?'


	6. Chapter 5, Knowing Stranger

**Chapter Five – Knowing Stranger**

The lake began to fill my every waking thought, until soon I began to link memories from my expedition to inane objects of my everyday life. The gentle wave of my Transfiguration partner's hair was an aquatic plant. The menacing group of Quidditch players standing in the courtyard became an oncoming school of Grindylows. Upcoming homework assignments lurked in my mind with all the ferocity of a half-glimpsed tentacle of the Giant Squid.

But these visions, I knew, would pass. Perhaps one or two more trips to the lake would do it... It would be too much effort to acquire Gillyweed after that, and the summer exams were looking far too close for my liking. I consoled myself with thoughts of all my other half finished projects, how soon I would be working again. Surely, there was nothing so special about these trips. The distraction I was feeling would not last for long.

It was coming back from the lake one early February evening, when the light became too weak to use down into the depths of the lake to which I swam, that I happened upon Margot St. James. I was tired, but happy. The spell I had been practising to silently summon up light underwater was getting stronger- it had started off pale and useless, sickly as a battery-farmed egg's yolk. I knew how to increase the strength, but no amount of practise seemed to make this addition to the spell work under water, until today. In addition, the days themselves were getting longer as the Hogwarts grounds started to shake off its frozen wintry attire to show green shoots and budding leaves. With any luck, the lake's temperature might increase by a few degrees before the end of March. I was lost in such thoughts as these when I hit something solid.

'I'm sorry, so sorry!' The object apologised profusely, reaching out an arm as I stumbled. 'I wasn't looking at-'

As our eyes met the voice abruptly stopped. Once again, I found myself staring into the eyes of Margot, who seemed to have lost all capability of speech. I saw the stack of books she was carrying and disentangled myself from her arm so she could shift the weight back to both, but the second I let go she pulled away as if she had been scalded.

'Are you alright?' I asked, worried that I had failed to remove a strand of pondweed from somewhere glaringly obvious. From the way she was staring, I felt I needed to check my hair and glasses immediately. At least it couldn't be the smell- I had started to take a spare set of robes down to the lake in case of any more probing questions from Elphias.

'Yes. Sorry. I mean- I wasn't expecting…' The train of thought escaped from her again, and she took the opportunity to move the heavy stack of books back into both of her arms. For some reason I couldn't comprehend, I offered my hands to take some, even though we were clearly heading in opposite directions.

'There's nothing interesting here,' Margot explained, with a small smile, 'Or nothing that you'd find interesting.'

'Why do you say that?' I asked, picking the one off the top of the pile and turning it so that I could read it. In faded red lettering, it spelled out "Astronomy and You- The Basics" over a glittering black background.

'A bit beneath your level.' She blushed, as if what she's said was an insult to me. 'Sorry, that came out a bit… English isn't my first language. Sometimes I find it hard to find to use the right words.'

I had never noticed that Margot was at all foreign, with such a typically English name. I strained, but apart from having a very clipped pronunciation when she spoke, there was no accent that I could hear.

'I didn't know. What else do you speak?' I asked, flipping casually through the book I still held.

'Je parle français… Ma mére voudrait m'apprendre.' Margot switched effortlessly, and her French accent was fluid and perfect. 'Sorry, I mean…'

'Why did your mother want you to learn?'

'Oh. Well, she is French. My father moved us here when I was seven, but she didn't want me to forget it all.'

I nodded, but didn't pursue the subject. Family was not my favourite topic of conversation. Even when people asked about me and Aberforth, I tried to keep the discussion going for as little time as possible before switching to something else.

'So why are you coming out in this direction for an Astronomy class?' I wondered aloud, placing the book back onto the pile she held.

'The class isn't out here; I haven't got one until Thursday. It's just that I'm so hopeless at it all I thought I'd better get some practice in.' Margot tried to brush some hair from her face rather absent-mindedly with the books, though there was no wind on this calm evening that could be mussing it. 'Oh, and the common room is so full. Someone smuggled in a bottle of Firewhisky and the sixth years have gotten hold of it …'

There were no prizes for guessing which "someone" Margot was referring to. I might have to mention how out-of-control Aberforth was getting in my next letter home. I didn't like to put any more pressure on mother, but it couldn't be helped. I frowned, my plans of a quiet evening by the warmth of the fire had been scuppered.

'Anyway, I like to be near the water. We used to live near the sea, in Normandy…' Margot's chestnut eyes suddenly became distant, clouded white with ghosts.

'Perhaps if you see the stars reflected, you can make more sense of them?' I smiled, trying to make copy with my poor joke.

'Perhaps.' She looked back at me for a long moment, before forcing herself to look away again. It was strange, as if she wasn't allowing herself to. I couldn't understand- what she was so afraid of? What strange vulnerability was this?

'Good night, Albus.'

Margot stepped around me and made her way towards the water again. Her black patent shoes glinted in rays of the setting sun that were being thrown desperately out across the horizon over the lake. She wore thick grey tights under a long starchy black skirt, three times the length of anything that Minna would be caught dead in, I was more than sure. An emerald green jumper hugged her thin frame; her arms were in sight from where they in turn hugged the heavy stack of Astronomy books. I felt odd, like those last few seconds before I reached the surface of the lake and my gills were fast disappearing. Already, I could feel the heavy weight of my covers over me, imagine the warmth of my quiet dorm room… and then heard the raucous shouts of the sixth year Gryffindors from an open window across the grounds. If I was to be deprived of sleep, would it not be better to do it here, under the stars and near the dark black carpet of the February lake?

I took several long strides, and then began to run towards Minna's fast disappearing outline. I put a hand on her shoulder, next the warmth of her heavy, dark hair and she spun in a full circle, the books wobbling in sync.

'I was wondering… if you could do with a tutor, perhaps. I mean, would you like me to help you? With Astronomy?' The sentence wriggled awkwardly from between my lips, but despite the tangled mess of my speech she grasped the meaning. Her dark mouth turned into a small smile, and together we walked away from the lights of Hogwarts towards the lake's shingled shore.


	7. Chapter 6, Restless Time

**Chapter Six – Restless Time**

Margot was easy-going, kind and bright- as long as your question wasn't at all related to astronomy. We began meeting up once a week out of doors, sometimes near to forest or up on the Astronomy Tower itself, so that I could help her with her problems with stargazing. She preferred to focus on each star, each planet in its own right. She didn't like the way they were grouped together in patterns, so that the individuals became meaningless. I'd tell her she was being too narrow-minded, and we'd start an argument, before laughing when we realised that we were both to stubborn to back down on anything.

It was a far cry from the inane conversations that Elphias and I would share at dinner, when Margot sat with the rest of the Gryffindor girls to avoid torture from Margot about spending time with me. It was certainly not similar to the sullen glances I would receive daily from my brother, his demands for news about our sister when he could have just have easily found out his precious news himself. I enjoyed having someone to talk to, to share my general thoughts with and to discuss classes that we shared. It was interesting, too, to hear about tales of her eccentric French mother and the adventures she got up to in a muggle town near London. In an unspoken pact, she never asked about my family and I never mentioned the English father who seemed noticeably absent from all her stories, like a photograph with a figure cut out.

March came with the trumpeting of daffodils and the percussion-like sound of warm air through the willows. We laid our books out near the shingle, where the grass met the dark grey strip of stones that hugged the lake. The sun shifted closer as morning melted into mid-afternoon. Even in the open Scottish air, we found it hard to keep our attention on the astronomy tables in front of us.

"How do you do it?" Margot asked exasperatedly, "Doesn't it just get tiring, being right all of the time?" She casually pushed a thick tome on the origin of Jupiter's moons away from her and laid back on the grass. Her freckled arms stretched away at odd angles, ridiculous in their adolescent frailty. She looked like someone had attached the parts of separate cadavers to create one skeletal, yet oddly pretty, human being. Her eyes were bordering on closed, protecting themselves from the weak March sunshine. It was hardly warm, but both of us had abandoned our Hogwarts sweaters; the lack of biting, icy wind was a rarity that had left us both optimistic.

"I'm not necessarily right _all_ of the time," I countered, trying to be annoyed by her assumption, but failing as she raised a twig-thin eyebrow in disagreement.

"Don't patronise me, Albus," She smiled, lifting an arm to shade her eyes as she looked at me lying beside her. Almost involuntarily, my own hand twitched, and she glanced down at it, as if it to question its intentions.

"I didn't- I mean, I just don't tend to think of it like that." I breathed, finding it too easy to explain myself to this girl with searching eyes hidden behind her wiry brown hair. "I just hate to not know what I'm talking about, to not have a reply to someone else's argument. It's like being lost, but you don't get to regret it alone- there's someone with you there to mock your mistake."

Margot nodded as she thought over what to say in reply. My gaze wandered away from her sharp jaw and onto the lake's vitreous surface. It seemed to be made of one entity, still as death. It was impossible to lay this close without thinking of my many trips beneath the surface- I could see myself causing ripples in the shadow waters, creating a tide behind myself as I strode into its artic embrace. I thought of giving Margot some excuse, to send her back to the castle and use the scraps of gillyweed I kept in a moleskin pouch in my robes… There were still several hours of daylight left, the Saturday afternoon held so much promise…

But Margot, of course, could not be abandoned. After our study break, it would be back to quizzing her on the Zodiac constellations and their appearances, ready for her class test on Thursday. The conversation would flow steadily, like the current stirring the centre of the entity of water next to them, and I would distract myself from the wish to float freely through the cool liquid air, never knowing what the next corner held for me. My mind took an odd turn, and as I swam beneath the lake, I had someone with me. Margot's dark hair, instead of sitting firmly in its triangular shape, was flowing freely around her. Weeds were catching on her robes, and she laughed widely with her tight lips. She laughed, kicking the water with her frail French legs, her gills flapping as she too sucked the energy from the water, excitedly trying to keep up with me…

I sat up, and physically shook my head from side to side. Margot's eyes were fully shut now, her breathing was even and regular and I began to wonder if she had managed to fall asleep. I wonder if I had tired her- we had already had two sessions this week, disturbing the Fat Lady in the small hours to risk journeys to the Astronomy Tower. I'd timed the end of the busy-body caretaker's nightly checks perfectly, so the risk was minimal, but still Margot always seemed flushed and worried, triple checking routes, grabbing my hand at noises… she would not even speak until I'd safely locked two oak doors at the foot of the tower's winding stairs. The life of a hardened criminal was not her true calling.

A soft "put-tsh" sound brought me back to the present. A bird of prey had hovered above the steely grey waters, then dropped straight at the surface to catch its spoil. It skimmed the surface, stretched its talons, before artfully winging its way back towards the forest. The helpless fish wriggled in its grip. It happened to quickly I wondered if I had imagined that, too.

"Margot," I begun, my eyes still on the fast disappearing bird, "Have you ever had a secret?" My voice was low, barely above a whisper, "Something you want nothing more than to share with all the people you trust most closely, but something that might make other think that you were… strange?"

Her expression didn't change in the slightest. The sharp, straight line of her brow quivered for a second, as if in confusion, but her eyelids stayed firmly closed. I sighed, not sure if it was a blessing or a bother that she hadn't awoken. The conversation was most definitely over. I began to pack up the books that lay around us- I would not be getting anything scientific, or even sensible, out of her later if she really was this tired.

I leant over the scattered papers, and tried to prise a pencil from her loose, unconscious grip. The second my fingers had worked their way into hers, her grip tightened. Surprise flashed through me, like I'd touched a muggle socket. I turned my head to see if Margot had woken up, and was fighting me for the pencil, but she was still fast asleep. I tried to remove my hand, and her thumb stroked along the back of it- slowly, I would have perhaps said absentmindedly, if she wasn't already unconscious.

"Albus…" She murmured, her voice somewhere between content and exhaustion. "J'ai attendu, Albus…"

I pulled my hand away, jerking her arm back. It landed on the sun-warmed grass, but again she did not awake. My mouth felt dry, I looked anywhere except at her sleeping face. Her slight mouth was pointed up at the corners, like the dreams she was seeing only held the pleasantest things. I could no longer feel the sun on my skin, instead the hair stood on my arm and I pulled my school jumper back over myself.

"_Albus, j'ai attendu…"_

The steady lilt of her voice was filling my mind, wiping it… I couldn't even bear to think of the words she had whispered from her dreams in their English form. I took a step away, still facing her where she lay on the grass. Pencil still in her hand, books carelessly arranged around her. It could have always been her alone; careful studious Margot, catching up on her work in the comforting spring weather…

"_J'ai attendu, Albus…"_

I turned away, and began striding towards the castle. She couldn't have meant what she said, she must have been confused- I tried to convince myself in a million ways that the words she had said could be translated in another way, that I had misheard, anything. Anything but what I knew was true.

"_Albus… I have waited."_


	8. Chapter 7, Anyone's Fool

Anyone's Fool

If anyone had thought to ask me about my journey back to the castle, I would not have been able to recall so much as a moment. I moved with all the purpose of an automaton, only programmed to get away- not to question why, or think about where I was headed. My only thoughts were of the words which had moulded themselves into the shape of my heartbeat, impossible to shake or forget. _J'ai at-ten-du, j'ai at-ten-du…_ Her lips mouthed the words behind my eyelids over, and over.

How had this ever happened?

The Fat Lady looked up as I approached, but I was in no mood for conversation. At the password, she swung aside, and I saw that the Common Room was blissfully empty. All the usual flubberworm-headed boys that crowded the dark red armchairs were out in the grounds, being bombarded by bludgers and swooned over by second years, I had no doubt. The marginally attractive weather had tempted them all out of doors, and I was grateful. It was meant to be like this. I was meant to be alone, utterly, and in more ways than any of them could understand…

"Oh, hullo Albus!"

My eyes closed, of their own accord, and a steady breath passed between my lips. I turned to the base of the fifth-year's staircase and gazed at the interrupter of my thoughts.

"Elphias." I monotoned, "What are you doing indoors?"

"Oh, I can't study outside, I'll shrivel like a vampire in this lights!" He chortled, completely oblivious to my humourless tone. He took a few bounding steps towards me, like an excitable puppy might at the sight of its owner. "D'you want to get a start on that astronomy project, while we're both here?"

His words pierced me, and the moment's reprieve his conversation had brought from my thoughts of Margot ended swiftly. The grip of a childlike hand again enveloped my fingers. I looked down, but it was just my own fingers that tightly gripped the others. My knuckles shone like stars through the mist of my pale skin. I shook my head slowly, trying to dispel the embarrassing moment from my mind-

"I think I've had enough Astronomy for today, I'm afraid…"

"Ah yes! Another one of your Margot sessions today, wasn't it? How are you two coming along, then?" Elphias asked, dropping his eyes and shuffling through a pile of parchment I had not previously noticed he was holding.

"Coming along?" I repeated, slowly.

"You know, how are you…" He stopped for a moment, and his eyes met mine as his brow wrinkled. Then, a slow smile began to spread to each of his rounded cheeks.

WMy, Albus! It's not often I have to explain anything to you!" His face was flushed, but not with any kind of embarrassment. Instead, he seemed jovial, and to be enjoying our conversation rather too much for my liking.

"You know, coming along, progressing smoothly… Surely you asked the girl to Geyl's leaving dinner?"

I had, but I did not see what this had to do with anything, and proceeded to explain this.

"A date, then, my friend!" He cried, an easy grin splitting a line across the chubby fold of his cheeks, "She's over the moon, no doubt. I'm really rather happy for you Albus. Good show."

My blood iced. Comprehension slowly trickled through the glacier my mind had become- time alone, an invitation to dinner, our bi-weekly (I winced at the inappropriate nature I had not previously inferred from this) night-time jaunts… No wonder Margot had come to such a conclusion. _I have waited_… waited for what? Waited for confirmation, for an answer?

Or, a thought that planted lead in the pit of my stomach, waited for… me?

"I don't think she thinks of me in that way, Elphias…" I tried to counter, grappling at any last hope that my foolish forwardness hadn't my pushed my new friendship past limits I not ever intended it to reach.

"She's a girl, Albus. A young woman, who, if that gossip Minna is to be believed, has held a torch for you for rather a long time."

I could feel even the tip of my nose heating as the blood rushed to my face. Had Minna told any casual enquirer? Did they all think that our trips to empty classrooms, to the edge of the lake, were for quite different reasons than the ones we really gave? Had Margot read in all my glances, arguments, conversations with her so much more than I had ever meant to imply? I had allowed this to happen, and now my quiet, studious existence was to be interrupted. I would no longer be Albus Dumbledore- exceptional student, poised for brilliance and grades beyond imagination. Instead I would be Albus Dumbledore… the steady boyfriend.

"No need to be embarrassed with me, Albus! Your secret's safe with me!" He winked conspiratorially, picked up a quill from the desk behind him, and then hurried back up the stairs he had appeared from back to our shared dormitory. "I'll see you tonight, for dinner! If you haven't shifted to the Ravenclaw table, that is!" He called back down the staircase. A dry chuckle escaped his lips, and a door slammed soundly shut.

I took a seat in front of the fireplace's empty grate, and allowed my head to fall heavily into my hands. Elphias had seen this whole situation coming, whereas I had simply allowed it to swallow me whole.

I couldn't go to dinner. I couldn't see her. I couldn't go back.

My frantic eyes came to rest on the remnants of the small knotted green plant which lay in the opening of my school satchel, and suddenly I knew one place that would let me be completely in control…


	9. Chapter 8, Deep Promises

Deep Promises

Dusk fell, and students trickled back into the Gryffindor Common Room to wait for friends, and share the details of their first tastes of summer. My stomach murmured with hunger, but in a childish manner I knew I was safe here. In the dining hall, it was all too likely that Margot would be there- eyes rimmed with red, refusing to make eye contact. She would have awoken, to simply find me gone. I winced as I remembered running from where we had been sat. I had ran like a child, like her words had been some vicious flock of attacking creatures... What would she have thought? Would she have told her friends? No, that was unlikely. Her pride, I was sure, would not have permitted that.

But it would be so hard to apologise…

Or what if she came to me, demanding an explanation, what could I possibly say? That I had grown bored, that I was too tired to stay? That I had left something important at the castle, and forgot to come back? I had to meet someone, and hadn't wanted to wake her? Each excuse sounded increasingly more pathetic, until my ears were ringing with promises and lies…

_J'ai attendu, Albus… mon Coeur, ma vie…_

I could finally get out.

I waited, once again, until the room emptied. In reality, it probably took hours before the warm, tapestry lined room changed from a hubbub of homework and howls into a hushed hall, simply the space between the students and their dinner. I waited until the darkness outside made it hard for me to even make out the shape of the Forbidden Forest, usually a clear outline to separate the grounds from the bright night sky. And then, only then, did I wrap my thickest cloak around me and hurry through the portrait hole.

I heard nothing as I passed through the dimly lit halls of Hogwarts- not the murmur of conversing ghosts, or the threatening footsteps of approaching teachers. I barely noticed the route I took, thinking only of my destination. The one place where everything I thought made sense, where I was completely in control. Doors swung open before I touched them, candles lit as I stalked past, causing the portraits to grumble and turn away in protest. Only a few more steps, only a few more minutes…

The shingle crunched reassuringly beneath my boots. My sigh of relief turned to a white cloud of condensation in front of me, which was rapidly swallowed by the dark. I laughed, and then realised how good it felt, so I laughed again- loud, deep, powerful. The sound reverberated across the lake, filling my ears so it seemed like the night was laughing with me, our own perfect private joke.

I would not let myself look back to the empty spot where I had left Minna sleeping…

I quickly disrobed, before a carefully hiding of my possessions between the rocks. I stepped into the clammy hands of the night-time lake, breathed in sharply and-

And I was finally home.

I kicked as hard and fast as I could, avoiding the thick weed-bed at the right side of the lake, home to innumerable Grindylows… I avoided the silt beds straight in the lake's centre, a favourite haunt of the squid… It felt good to understand my surroundings completely, to feel completely at home in a place where I knew I only had to answer to myself. The light I shot from my wand illuminated the thick dark water in a full ten-feet circle around me. Nothing could hurt me here, I'd see any creature coming long before it could become a problem. My gills rippled with pleasure, taking in waves of oxygen which made me even giddier.

I swerved around the empty rock cave which had fascinated me so much in my first few trips to this part of the lake. The walls where still scratched where the rocks had slid against each-other to make the strange formation, which was oddly intricate for the accidental creation. Five similarly sized boulders were topped by two thinner, layered slabs, with a space left like some kind of entrance. I had amused myself for days with the idea that I had discovered some kind of Stonehenge-type structure, built by early man in this Scottish valley. Only a few hours research in the library told me that no early tools or dwellings had been discovered within fifty miles of the school's grounds, and that it was highly improbable that any stone-age creature would venture so far from its herd to make such a simple structure. Still, it was nice to amuse myself with fantasy. I drifted past, running my fingers over the deep carvings once again.

Further down I travelled, my legs letting me know every few seconds what an effort this cathartic trips was causing them. I pushed my muscles further, enjoying the rush of adrenaline my body rewarded me with. My childhood studies of muggle anatomy still fascinated me- whilst Aberforth had spent his earlier summers exploding slugs and begging my parents for trips to the local petting zoo, I had ransacked the biology and basic science textbooks at the local library. I copied diagrams exactly, swilled the latin names repeatedly around my tongue- _scaphoid, lunate, triquetrum, pisiform… _The intricate bones in my hand seemed to strengthen as I called them, scooping away the water at an ever increasing rate. I spun dreamily, allowing my momentum to push me forwards into the lake.

Then, darkness.

My wandlight extinguished, without so much as a word from me. The shock of it caused my brain to freeze for a moment, and that was all that the water creatures needed. I felt my wand being grabbed at, wrenched from my fingers by brittle, slimy imitations of the human form. I cursed and called in my head, but the weak grip of my wand and the fragmented state of my mind meant my wand did nothing- _Help! _My words were nothing here, thick bubbles of nothing erupting from my throat. I thrashed, panicked, screamed until nowhere was up and everywhere was down- _Help me…!_

Then true fear set in. The Grindylows were all over me, pulling at my clothes and hair in a desperate attempt to pull me deeper, and I could fight, I knew, as long as I had breath. But that was soon to be something I would lose. The skin on my neck was tightening as my gills turned back to skin. I thought I had allowed myself the time, I thought I was safe. I had never been so wrong.

And they would never find me, here. I had been buried the second I dropped below the surface.

And with that thought, I gave myself to the wintry waters.

_J'ai attendu._

One of the Grindylow's fingers laced mine and pulled, as I breathed out a long sigh of relief…


	10. Chapter 9, Escapology

Basic Escapology

Burning. All I could feel was the burning. How I had ever escaped it at all was a miraculous idea in itself, as it seemed I was arising from some unconscious state. My throat was torn, ripped open, clogged with dried dirt and water weed. I could feel it prickle beneath the burn. My hands grabbed at my neck ineffectually as I coughed with a fervour that shook my entire body. I couldn't open my eyes, or move from the cold flat floor I was laid on… My hands had been on each side, placed ceremonially, like a corpse. Fitting.

This had to be hell. I had woken up in hell.

Yet, the pain seemed too real, the floor was too cold. I couldn't have imagined this pain in my darkest hours. I coughed again, more deeply this time, and was forced to roll over to spew out the remainder of the lake that had settled in my stomach. Delightful. At least I had eliminated the possibility of this being the after-life.

The light began to fight against my closed eyelids, and slowly I tried to see look at my surroundings. Grey. Grey was good. Grey was not dark, murky black. It wasn't surrounding me, filling my lungs, dragging me deeper…

I retched again. More of the discoloured water spattered onto the ground next to me, and I feebly tried to wriggle away from it. The thick feeling of fatigue that had begun from the second I opened my eyes tripled at the thought of trying to stand. I breathed as deeply as I could with my damaged throat, and used my arms to make a great shift to the left with all the energy I could muster. Then, before I lost the will I had managed to build up, I opened both my eyes completely.

I was in a shallow cavern. It couldn't have been more than a few feet into the rock, and was barely protected from the world outside. It was given a little protection by a large hawthorn plant that had made a home at the cave's opening, but one could clearly see the wet expanse of cobbles outside that led directly back onto the lake. I turned my head, slowly and carefully, to see if I could make out whereabouts I had ended up. I realised, suddenly, why the lake seemed so hard to focus on- my glasses and I had been separated. I panicked momentarily at the thought of the set of wire lenses settled at the bottom of the lake with my wand, but remembered my priorities quickly. I was alive. That was well worth a trip to Ollivander's, in any case.

Alive. The very word sounded jubilant, a wonderful creation. Alive. A-live, I live, mine to live… I smiled, before the sour taste in my mouth forced me to push my lips apart once more. How had it happened? I was so sure that I was too far from the surface to make any mistake, my wand was barely in my hands- had my body, in its final moments, managed to make some spectacular attack on the creatures, and to push me to the surface?

But if this was so, why was my wand not in my hand? I wriggled my fingers, and patted the area around my battered body to see if I had dropped it in my unconsciousness. Nothing. It could be on the shore, somewhere. I could have been washed onto the cobbles, have crawled around the thorn plant, lain down and slept… My thoughts escaped from me, trying to think of any plausible reasons why I was alive, and still in such surprisingly good shape. Still, each plan was a bucket with a hole in it, one small gap and all the credibility seeped away in a moment. Why could I remember nothing?

It was time to move. Merlin only knew how long I had been sleeping here, building up the strength to wake. I could have been gone for days. I buckled forwards, with another deep cough, and tried to shuffle out of the rock enclosure. A sudden sound behind me forced me to spin, yelp in pain, and then try to focus on what I could see.

A small, roughly circular patch of water was lapping against the stone surrounding it. It was too perfectly round to be a puddle, and too well protected from the rain. No water supply was dripping from the rock above, or filtering down the walls. I dipped my shivering hand into its waters, and could feel no bottom. It seemed to be some kind of tunnel, the width of a muggle manhole. It curved as it deepened, underneath where I had been lain and back into-

'The lake.' I gasped, and then had another fit of coughs. It seemed impossible. How could something like this be? No geological process I knew gave lakes a secret entrance. Or, exit- was this how I had managed to escape? Perhaps the force of some spell, shooting me out of the tunnel like a cork in a bottle? I shook my head slowly. Anything was possible at the minute. In my last memories, all that had seemed certain was death. From here on out, all ideas had to be considered.

I retrieved my arm, and shook it dry. I shuffled away, unable to stand up fully in the sheltered rock I had been sleeping under. With one final glance back at the water tunnel, I left the space. It would be a long crawl back to the grounds.

It seemed to be early afternoon- it was hard to tell from the position of the sun, as the spring cloud cover was still pretty dense. The light levels seemed to indicate it was either directly before or after noon, but the students I passed lazing near the Herbology sheds were acting like they'd just taken on a heavy Hogwarts meal. A group of Hufflepuff fourth-years ambled passed me, seemingly in no hurry to get anywhere. It was just an average weekday afternoon. There was no way that my absence would have gone unnoticed.

After a short rest behind Herbology, I decided it was time to stand. My legs shook, but worked, thinking desperately of the promise of my warm dorm bed at the end of their journey. I knew a few passages that would lead me back without any human interruption.

I had almost reached the steps of the castle, almost made it to the doors of the West entrance that was only a few feet from the staircase that led to the quickest route to the Gryffindor common room when-

'Albus!'

I could have spotted the intonation of my voice anywhere, the Southern European focus on the lengthened 'u', 'Al-boos'. What I hadn't expected was the obvious note of worry that threaded through her speech

'I understand why you left when I fell asleep, I'm sorry that I wasted your time like that, but you can't just _leave school_, Albus!' The words fell out of her mouth so rapidly, I thought she would never take in another breath. She advanced towards me, at speed but somehow with no hint of a run. One second I was on the steps alone, and suddenly there she was. A complete vision of fury.

'Elphias has been telling everyone, the teachers called your mother- how could you do this?' Margot's eyes were shining, but her face was stony and solid. 'How could you make everyone worry so?'

'It wasn't something I _planned_…' I began, hot-headedly.

'Well why didn't you _tell _anyone, then?'

This threw me for a moment. 'I didn't have time, I didn't want to wake Doge…'

'I don't think he would mind, if he thought you were running away!'

'I wasn't running! What do I have to run from?' I echoed back, exasperatedly.

'You ran-' She stopped, and bit her lip tightly. I had a chance to take her in as the argument lulled, and it was a surprise to say the least. Her robes were wrapped hastily over a skirt that was evidently too old and short to be worn, along with a bobbled dirt-brown jumper. Her hair seemed to have no memory of being brushed or tamed in its existence, as it sprang wildly away from its owner. 'You-'

'I didn't mean to leave you, Margot. I'm sorry.' She could never know what she had done to make me leave that day. It was hard not to go on, to try and make more excuses but something made me hold back from that kind of truth.

'I was called away for just a minute, and you slipped my mind, and by the time I remembered it was- Really, I can only apologise. I'm truly sorry.' I finished awkwardly, rocking back onto my heels and looking away from her eyes.

The moment spread out uncomfortably between us.

'It's quite alright, Albus.' She whispered it, like a secret.

'Now if I could just-'

'Wait! What about last night, this morning?' She called, as I began to retreat back towards the doors. 'Elphias woke at six to see that you had gone, and raised the alarm as soon as he had checked the common room-' Typical Doge, unable to think past the need to share with a Professor- 'You missed all this morning's lessons, and everyone is talking about how you have just left Howarts! Where have you been?'

I shuffled awkwardly; I hadn't even begun to think about a real excuse. 'I had to be outside, to test something- a spell…'

'Oh, a spell.' She replied, looking sceptical. 'Then why leave the stone, your wand, your glasses?'

I hadn't a clue what she was talking about. 'What? What are you-'

'When you had gone, I went straight to where we were before. The place by the lake, where you fell asleep.' I could feel my mouth turn dry, but I wasn't quite sure why yet.

'And?' I croaked.

'And… I don't know why I went, but I felt like… Like I should. And then there were these.'

She dug deep into the pocket of her robes, and then pulled out her hands. The first held my glasses, (the lenses were smashed out, but they were otherwise perfectly acceptable), and my old wand, slightly warped but still in one piece. I couldn't help but feel relief as she handed them to me, and I muttered a quick spell to return my glasses to their original state.

'Thank you, you don't know what this means.' I breathed, as a wave of relief broke over me.

'And this, I found this.' She persisted.

She handed a dark, flat piece of rock. It was perfectly circular, like the edges had been sanded down. It was roughly the size of my palm.

'It's not just from the cobbles?' I asked, holding the slate carefully in one hand as I appreciated the feeling of my wand in the other.

'There's something on the back,' Margot drawled, 'I thought it was a message of some kind…'

Two parallel lines had been drawn, to make the image of an equals sign, or maybe a tower. A white circle, scratched on with some sharp instrument had been hastily drawn around the edge of it. The markings seemed to defined to be random. I had never seen a rune like it in all my studies at Hogwarts.

'What does it all mean, Albus?'

I looked back at her, and found myself truly lost for words. My things, somehow washed up on the other shore, had been found by one of the few people who would know to whom they would belong. My lucky escape, my intact belongings- how had so many coincidences happened in one day? But I had no explanation to give her. I knew as little as she did about how anything had managed to land where we had been sat only a short day ago.

'I put them down next to the lake, and then walked around it to find a good spot next the water. I didn't realise it was where we had been sat, Margot.'

For some reason, she shrank a little at my words. She couldn't take her eyes of the patterns drawn onto the rounded piece of slate, like focusing on them for a few more seconds would totally reveal their true meaning to her.

'So there was no message?'

'No message.'

'And you weren't running away?'

I looked directly into her eyes as I answered. 'I didn't run.'

She seemed, if not satisfied with my answers, at least tired of asking me questions. I sidestepped her on the staircase to the castle doors, and again began to think of the hot shower that awaited me of the Gryffindor boy's bathrooms…

'Mr Dumbledore.' Professor Frobisher's voice rang out clearly from a first floor. 'My office. Immediately.'

Well, a boy could dream, couldn't he?


End file.
